This is a time of great change in India. Orthodox thinking is being overlapped by the youthful competition in this age. People are accepting changes within others and are understanding a better sense of justice within one's conscience. But society changes very slowly. Even now we are afraid to truly open our heart to the world. So in this time of Great Cultural change, there are a few things that we have to keep in mind if want our relationships to survive longer. It is human nature that we want to more about people around us. But in this situation it becomes critical that we hold off on our curiosity. So here are few things that we shouldn't ask our relatives if we treasure them even a little bit.
1. When are you getting your Daughter married?
- This is a question which we must avoid by all means necessary. Asking a parent when they are getting their daughter married, or how long are they going to keep the girl in home is not something we must do. Doesn't how close or how concerned you are about them, being a parent obviously they are more concerned about their daughters marriage. But they may have plans for her career as well. In this time when girls are not kept at home for mere house work and when they are being given equal opportunities, a parent might just want his/her girl to be something herself. Asking such questions might lower your position in their eyes and worse they might start cutting you off.
2. When are you telling us the "Good News"?
- The "Good News" in India is one when someone got married recently and is expecting a baby. Now its become a general topic of conversation in families as soon as someone gets married. But to be on good terms with the couple I think it is a topic best avoided. There might me many reasons why a recently married couple may not be ready for a child. They might want time to understand each other, or have had some kind of family planning. It is their personal matter not some general topic to be discussed with everyone. Also with the current lifestyle and environment there are many cases of infertility. The couple might already be in enough tension due to inability to conceive. Being a good relative, Don't ask questions that might increase their tensions.
3. How much is your son earning?
- This is a question generally aimed at parents to better estimate the whole family income. We Indians like to show off. So we try to know other's income so that we can compare and comment on it. We have a habit of dominating others. It has been in us Indians since the Mohan-Jo-Daro era. So now we have developed skills of dominating others mentally too. And this is what it leads to, comparing others income. But if this question is asked to someone whose child is still struggling in his career, it might hurt his pride over his son. We should understand the fact that in a country of 2nd largest population it is a case with many of our relatives. So to avoid misunderstandings let's refrain from asking such hurting questions.
To Be continued.....
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